6 posts tagged “the yod freedom hunt”

Topic: Ross may be really famous someday. He will surely lend his name and likeness to several consumer products. Show us one sponsorship Ross totally should not accept!

T.R.U.S.S. Fund: The Ross United Scholastic Support Fund

T.R.U.S.S. Fund: The Ross United Scholastic Support Fund

Topic: Post images that will scare Yod straight
e.g., did you find a marketing campaign that made you want to not buy a product you wanted to buy before seeing the marketing item?  Did you see a sign (printed, or more esoterical) that obviously deters you from visiting the store - even if you need the product(s) they sell?  How about, my favorite, some bad PowerPoint?

I might suggest a Holiday Trip to Ye' Ole WalMart/K-Mart/Whatever Mart. And, more specifically. to the toy section. *** Please make sure to do this on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. This will ensure that Yod will get the most benefit from the experience. 

Also note that restraints may be necessary to secure the subject prior to initial exposure to treatment.

Magic power???
Yeah. That'll work.

His brain will be so fried from the sensory overload that his thoughts will become malleable and he'll be quite open to suggestion. Bend the subject to your desires: Want the dishes washed? The living room cleaned? The recycling done? This method has proven effective in 99.9% of the case studies conducted.

Topic:  Take pictures of instruments and items that Warden Ebby could use to keep Yod in line during his yard time!

Phase One:
Warden Ebby should offer Prisoner Yod a generous handful of Dried Catnip Buds.
A little THC will help Warden Ebby keep control by putting Yod into a state of inexplicable bliss.

Dried Catnip Buds

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"Prisoner in the Yard: Ya' wanna crawl under the fence here?", asks the Warden, beguilingly lifting the hem of the fence. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever, man"", drools Yod as he lolls against the nearest tree.

Phase Two:
Warden Ebby should offer Prisoner Yod a generous bowl of fresh meat.
We all have heard about the munchies, that THC induced state of hunger...

Meat

After the steady diet of Eukanuba, Yod is likely to eat anything that doesn't come in a bag.

Phase Three:
Break out the yarn balls.

Yarn

Still under the effects of the catnip buds, Yod will easily be intrigued and entertained by batting the yarn balls back and forth with Warden Ebby. "Hey, Ebby. Look how all the pretty shades of blue and brown swirl around. Cool..."

While he is in this dreamy, sleepy state, the Warden will be able to cocoon him by wrapping him in rounds of the yarn. He'll think he's just been knitted a very cozy  sweater, when infact he will be completely encased and disarmed.

Phase Four:
Once he has a nap in his warm wrap of yarn, Yod might start to get a little anxious.
Warden Ebby should immediately offer him more of the catnip buds

Dried Catnip Buds

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and provide some intriguing entertainment withe the fuzzy-feathery Cat Yod-Fisher

Fuzzy-feathery Yod-Fisher

In his intoxicated state this should provide several hours of Yod-torturing fun for the Warden.

Should the prisonser become increasingly anxious, or over stimulated, the Warden should not be afraid to offer more of the Catnip.

Dried Catnip Buds

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This can be offered and applied until the prisoner is lulled into a state of THC-induced coma-like sleep.

Following this method, as illustrated above, the Warden Ebby will be able to keep the prisoner riding the wave between consciousness and an absolute dream state for days at a time and he will be much less inclined to consider escape.

Fail Safe:
Should any of the above phases become over stimulating to the Prisoner Yod, or if the prisoner exhibits any unusual behavior, Warden Ebby should break out a copy of

Richard Brautigan's Trout Fishing in America, The Pill versus The Springhill Mine Disaster, and In W

Richard Brautigan

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Under the influence of the THC, Prisoner Yod will be drawn to the other-wordly visions provided by the stories in this collective. Brautigan is good for you after all and the prisoner may be enticed into reading the passages aloud.

Your thinking is way flawed, Dood. Too much time in the slammer will do that. Yeah. But you [seriously] need to rethink your position before you are plunged deeper into Karmic Debt.

Point One:
Since Jody is a mechanical engineer she will be able to confirm the fact that a proper key [or pick]  is not possible to devise without knowing what kind of lock is on your kennel. -30,000 Karmic Points.

Point Two:
Angst-filled poetry is still whining and it is whining to the enth degree of petulance.  -50,000 Karmic Points.

My Little Soph

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Point Three:
While I appreciate the plug and left handed compliment about my art, you must know that Soph has passed the bar exam in Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, and California and she will eat your frivolous lawsuits for lunch. Yeah. She's that intense.
*** Just look what she did to the bat.
And that was just punishment for tresspassing.
You're in a whole heap o' trouble, man. Give it up.

Das We Dangle: The Yod Freedom Hunt